Hi, my name is D and this is my writings on subjects. I'm no rapscallion or anything at all. If you want to you can read my writings on subjects if you have free time. If you want to argue with me or call me names then please comment. Negative feedback is very welcome...I love dat shit. Me? I'm not even a noun, I'm a fucking verb, dude.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Rating (some of) the Religions of the World

Christianity/Judaism/Muslim (the Triple Threat)

Seperated at birth
These 3 are pretty much the same thing, Christianity and Judaism's old testament are the same stories word for word even. Judaism doesn't use the Deluxe Edition version with the stories that include the Savior like Christianity and Muslimanity do...but that's about it.

The Savior Shtick (Jesus/Muhammad) is actually stolen from the Hindu religion's story of Krishna (and apparently they stole it from the story of Gilgamesh).

Pros for the Triple Threat

-Parables galore amongst these stories, and some of them are really good too (Prodigal Son etc.) that can teach kids valuable life lessons.

Oh shit guy! Thanks for the lift !
-Instilling fear in you. You can make kids stop being bad and destructive to themselves or others by telling them they'll burn in hell for eternity and it works. Though, the Santa Claus Gift Rewardal System for being good probably works better anyway.

-Helps fight loneliness, I like that picture where the dude is being carried on the beach but there's footprints appearing under him...that means someone is always with you and that someone is that nice guy Jesus.

-Helps the bereavement process. It's always nice to know that no one really dies...they just go away and you'll see them again down the line.

-Creates healthy communities. Parishes, Synagogues and Mosques are a great place to chill with likeminded fellows and ladies, meet your future wife/husband, exchange business cards, etc.

-The Jewish Talmud is a great historic collection of data and philosophy from many years and years of Rabbinic discussions. It is far more philosophical and interesting the other books in the Triple Threat.

Cons for the Triple Threat
-They teach that you cannot question "God" and they put a limit on knowledge. I think this was an ammendment to the texts added by rulers and kings in later years so that no one questioned them (as they were appointed by god as they claimed). I wouldn't be surprised if the Adam and Eve shtick which basically tells you not to think or try and attain knowledge was added to the texts by some ruler at some point in history to make his/her subjects dumber.

-Jesus and Mohammad are supposed to come back at some point and some crazies think they are taking some people back with them and MURDERING everyone else. This is too much...

-It divides people. Even though they are plagiarized versions of older texts and that Christianity and Muslimanity are the same exact shtick...it doesn't mean Christians and Muslims aren't killing or hating each other.

-A lot has changed since this data was written. Back then it probably enlightened millions and made millions of people brighter, but today we've come a long way, and for the most part this data is somewhat obsolete now.

-Some antiquated laws, that should be abolished, survive thanks to belief in these texts. When you consult the literacy rate for women in Muslim countries (which is staggeringly low in some parts, Afghanistan has a 19% female literacy these days) it is not hard to figure out that the rights of females are greatly hindered by antiquated Muslim laws.

Similarly in Judaism...the population control practice of castrating children so they do not mate and make more humans was kept alive symbolically in the dick-cutting circumcision tradition (in which a dude bites off or cuts off the foreskin of a baby's penis). This is a tradition that doesn't really need to stay in practice. It's not all it's cracked up to be.

-It can be construed into nihilism (not caring about any consequences of your actions). I remember going to "confession" as a kid where God forgives all your sins...I mean if God forgives all sinners...why should anyone care about what they do to others? Nihilism is real fucking stupid.

Final Overall Score: 2/10
They got some good parables and whatnot but they are hack plagiarism and somewhat boring.


Two good "Savior" characters
Hinduism and it's data is where a lot of the above religions robbed their stuff from so it is automatically better than those right of the bat. Not only those three religions above are based off Hindu texts but so is something far more important...Dragon Ball is also based off of Ancient Hindu Texts. The Hindu Deity/Superhero Hanuman the Monkey King was the inspiration for China's Sun Wukong (of Journey to the West fame) and in turn Sun Wukong was the inspiration for Gokuu.

If you really read some of this Hindu stuff, it is pretty good man. They believed the Universe was limitless and ever expanding from the get-go. The triple-threat religions still believe that the earth is like 5000 years old or some ridiculous number. Hindu spoke of the big bang where everything groups up and then blows up an infinite amount of cyclical times....and they did it way before today's scientists started even thinking about that. To believe you live in an ever expanding oscillating universe growing like an inflating balloon is more fun than believing some dude made you.

Pros for Hinduism

-No self-imposed limit on acquiring knowledge

-Very open and enlightening view of the universe

-Great stories make up the Ramayana, the Bhagavad Vita, and the Mahabharata which were spread the world over and re-used/re-packaged to start up some other religions.

Cons for Hinduism

She loves the Caste System and so do you!
-Much like the above religions this shtick is VERY OLD and was never updated as society became more self aware and as new technologies changed the dynamic of life. People in India will still vote for people who claim they are divine incarnations of Hindu Deities and that's very sad.

-The whole divine shtick in itself is responsible for a horrible caste system in India which still exists today. People are born as heavenly graced people...while others are born from families who do not have this arbitrary distinction. People born into low castes are never allowed to advance and are sold into slavery (where these kids make your clothes and your hand-woven area rugs) or brothels if they are female. Smashing this religion apart could likely smash the caste system apart too...theoretically.

If they didn't believe in this silly little religion, they wouldn't believe they are worthless.

Final Overall Score: 5.5/10
Great Universe stuff...but...really bad "divine" and "non-divine" caste business.


The Buddhism started in India too and spread in the east and now even in the west pretty well. It is a very philosophical religion and is very interesting to read through.

Basically, this guy Buddha was born into a wealthy noble family but wanted something more out of life (i.e. mental peace of mind) and threw away all his shit to become a beggar. He meditated all day in hopes of destroying his wants and needs and achieving an enlightened state of mind. He started a monastery where he taught some of his cool sutras (love, diamond, etc.) to some other folks and they in turn taught some others and so on right down line until today. He wanted to see what caused "suffering" in the mind and decided that if you never wanted, needed, or wanted to gain anything then you could trick yourself into being a pretty happy person.
Being worshiped as an idol? Whatever, it's cool guys.

He was then transformed into a "Savior" character which is very sad because it goes against all of his teachings. People worship Buddha now just as a person in the triple-threat religions worships God. The "Journey to the West" story mentioned above (though it is a very entertaining yet a fantastically long story) was the kicker that placed Buddhism ahead of Taoism in the great religion race in China, and it sadly presents Buddhism similar to Hinduism or any religion based off Hinduism...where Buddha lives in "heaven" as a watchful God. Some aspects were kept intact, the aspect of wanting and needing nothing is a big factor in the story but the Deification of Buddha in Journey to the West may have really ruined the teachings for many generations to follow.

Pros for Buddhism

-Probably the most philosophically interesting religion they got going these days. Reading some of this stuff is really fun. All Eastern religions are good, reading Confucius and his stuff and the Tao (though very mystical in nature) are good too.

Cons for Buddhism

-Makes people really passive and takes the fight out of them a bit.

-The Deification of Buddha reduces the religion to being similar or exact to the other "God" and "Savior" religions.

Final Overall Score: 7/10
Very interesting but some of the shtick is just silly loop questions and silly little statements...like "what is the sound of a tree falling in the woods with no one around it" type stuff.

Mythological, Personal, (etc.)

Greek myths, Roman Myths, Haiti Voodoo myths, African myths...etc. All the above religions fall into this category as well. These are all stories and parables involving different super human deities. The cool thing about Greek myth for example is the the Deities all have faults and give in to temptations and that makes them surprisingly human in nature instead of super human.

The fact that any story can be a religion that someone can live their life by is pretty interesting actually. That being said, that any story can be a religion means that Ghostbusters, Fraggle Rock, and anything else can be a guide for people to live their lives. You can gain inspiration from anything really and you just gotta find one that suits you and it can be a mixture of millions of texts if you really wanted it to be. We live in an information golden age where we can ask any question about anything to the great Talmud which is the internet...we can read and gain knowledge about just about anything. This information golden age is also a religious golden age as well because we can gain comfort, piece of mind, and inspiration from an unlimited amount of sources.

Final Overall Score: 9.5/10
Read a lot of stuff, ask a lot questions...make your belief structure your own thing.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Three Good Sarcastic Essays from Somewhat Different Eras.

Sarcasm is a tricky little human device, in speech and human-to-human conversational relations it is really annoying for the most part, but in writing (if done with subtlety) it can produce interesting results.

Example 1: A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift (circa 1729)

Swift is trying to address the problem of poverty in Ireland and how it should be solved. He opens by explaining how difficult life is for many children who were born into poverty, and comes to the conclusion that the best thing for everyone involved is for the rich to eat these poor children...

"I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled ...”

"I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title to the children."

This obviously created quite a stir when released, he's recommending that the best way for rich landlords to get rid of 120,000 children is to eat them. The reaction of people who read it was to hate on him and say he's a maniac but the important thing is that they read it to begin with. He provides very important data in the piece on poverty and on how landlords and tax collectors are "feeding" off of the impoverished population. The baby-eating part is just to sensationalize it and gain readership to what is essentially an eye-opener on how the very rich take advantage of the poor. He gained a lot of negative attention surely, yet it remains relevant all the way to today and has it's place in history.

Not 100% true but food for thought...
Example 2: Kill the Poor by Eric Boucher (circa 1980)

Efficiency and progress is ours once more, 
Now that we have the Neutron bomb 
It's nice and quick and clean and gets things done
Away with excess enemy
But no less value to property
No sense in war but perfect sense at home

The sun beams down on a brand new day
No more welfare tax to pay
Unsightly slums gone up in flashing light
Jobless millions whisked away
At last we have more room to play
All systems go to kill the poor tonight

Behold the sparkle of champagne
The crime rate's gone
Feel free again
O' life's a dream with you, Miss Lily White
Jane Fonda on the screen today
Convinced the liberals it's okay
So let's get dressed and dance away the night

While they...Kill kill kill kill Kill the poor...Tonight!

The template for this piece was obviously Swift's A Modest Proposal yet it is interesting that it was met with the same reaction almost three hundred years later. The piece is 100% identical but just revamped for a new era it seems. No one said, "oh wow this is a sarcastic eye opener on the current political system much very similar to an essay written in 1729," in fact the reaction was even worse than 1729, Boucher at one point was even put on trial by his government for this and other material for the crime of "distributing obscenity" and accused of poisoning the minds of the youth. It's strange that 300 years later this re-issue of Swift's sarcastic critique was met with more hostility than it was in 1729.

Media: Boucher on British TV.....Boucher on Oprah w/ Tipper Gore (this is really good).

This Nguyen character is far less known than the previous two but I think his writing deserves to be remembered as well. His essays took the internet by storm a few years ago (or by gale maybe...not storm), and they are something (see the rest here).

Now, before I make my point let's reduce some obvious error bars and state some obvious counter points. First, these can very possibly be fake, and someone just put red pen on it to look like it was submitted in a classroom. Also, this can be just a form of "self sabotage" and these essays are not important at all. Self sabotage is basically when you purposely don't try so you can not feel the effects of failure ever (i.e. "I know I didn't get X but it's just because I wasn't really trying..."). These essays may be subject to both and that could discredit my following point, but let's hypothetically say that they were neither fake nor self-sabotaged in order to argue my following points in safety.

The environment of the school system Nguyen was in was a very odd one for two reasons. Since the mid 1990's students all have access to the internet, and teachers in the US are given bell curve incentives.

What do kids do with the net? They "research" and then they switch some words around so it doesn't look too "researched" to their teacher.

What are bell curve incentives? Everyone goes on the curve and their grades are dished out by what piece of the curve you hit. The teachers themselves are evaluated for job performance how good their curves are, meaning they get raises and benefits for good curves. That is a conflict of interest as teachers pass everyone and edit marks to even out or fancy-up their respective bell curve to achieve higher pay and climb the pay scale.

So let's put two and two together why don't we? Thirty students go on Wiki or some other site and "research" their essay and then thirty students turn in basically the same essay to the teacher (some with better grammar than others being the biggest difference)...the teacher then assigns them to the bell curve...the ones with the worst grammar go into 60-65, then with bad grammar they go into 70-80, and the ones with excellent grammar get the 85-95 slot. Everyone passes and the teacher looks good for his/her evaluation...and everyone is happy.

Then a Peter Nguyen comes along and throws everything out of whack, where does this fucking shit fit on the bell curve? Nowhere! Getting his essay on that fucking curve is like throwing a brick into a washing machine The teacher doesn't want to fail him because it'll fuck up the curve and he/she can't pass him because he'll have proof that anyone can pass. This crazy guy is daring the teacher to fail him. Why? 

The interesting thing about Nguyen is you can tell from his writing that he is creative, original, and intelligent...so why is he daring his teachers to fail him? Is it in itself a sarcastic critique on the bell curve system in American schools? Could be...

Monday, April 11, 2011

The Oprah Empire has begun its decline...for a Trojan Horse has entered her domain

The Oprah Empire is a large media corporate entity which makes a fortune off of selling tabloid chaff, innate nonsense, and diffusing erroneous information to its viewers. The Oprah conglomerate may also be responsible for turning two full generations of women into overly politically correct, celebrity obsessed, gossiping soccer moms. The structure of the entity consists of a Queen Bee or more accurately a Mother Planet and her surrounding satellites.

Satellite #1: Doctor Phil

Springer is an all around chill guy
For every 1 second you watch Doctor Phil you become 1.125 times more of a worse person. So if you watch 15 minutes for instance, you become 16.785 times more horrible than you previously were. Basically Doctor Phil is what you get when you take the Jerry Springer premise but take out all the loonies, whackos, sickos, fights, and bare breasts...and all your left with is this bald annoying pile of crap lecturing people.

On the contrary for every 1 second you watch Jerry Springer clips on the Youtube you become 5 times of a better person for it (and if Kung Fu Billy is in them you become 7.5 times of a better person).

Satellite #2: Doctor Oz

Doctor Oz is some kind of a doctor (I guess). I picture him in his office, wearing a GlaxoSmithKline t-shirt, hawking GlaxoSmithKline products to his patients whether they need it or not because he gets a commission on all the GlaxoSmithKline products he hawks off. I'm not trying to say that those products are bad, their vaccines do prevent disease but the problem lies in the fact that they are foremost a business before a health care provider. But...forget my preconceptions as they are not important, Doctor Mehmet Oz has no problem showing off his quackery for the world to see.

James Randi kicks the shit outta people for a living....
The Long-Armed Hairy Ape Man (as Oz was known in his halcyon days at Harvard) was recently awarded the Pigasus award in the Media Category by that great guy James Randi. The award is issued to the the top 5 promoters of nonsense for said year. The main reason given why he deserved this accolade was for the promotion of "faith healing," "energy medicines" and of course for promoting the bane of all medicine... homeopathic remedies. Randi does a whole long debunking shtick on homeopathic remedies at the talks he gives, and you are left sitting there wondering how this was turned into a billion dollar industry. They basically take a "magical" ingredient like duck liver or some bullshit then dilute it with the medicine-to-water ratio of 1 to 100,000 or so...then they electrocute the water (!?) for some unknown reason (maybe to bring out the electro-lytes or something) then load it into sugar pills and sell it to you (Guardian article for backup).

Mother Planet: Oprah

I have an actual personal vendetta on the Oprah. I think Oprah was the actual reason I quit school. It was the start of my 4th or 5th semester in the History Program at the Concordia and I was sitting there thinking..."You know, unless you are in engineering, or sciences, or medicines, or something cool like computer programming...you're not really in college. This program I'm in for instance is a glorified book club and the only thing you get out of this degree is a big snobby chip on your shoulder." As this thought is crossing my mind, the teacher gives us her book that we are going to write a 400,000,000 page essay on this semester...and lo and behold it's one from the Oprah's Book of the Month Club (Special Edition)...so not only am I paying money to sit in a glorified book club but it's actually an Oprah Book Club on top of it all!

For the final essay, I wrote a scathing horribly sarcastically biting essay and earned a smooth ZERO on that shit. That smooth zero dropped my cumulative GPA down to 1.63 (along with the other two teachers who failed me during my implosive "going out with style" semester closer), and that boys and girls, will not get you very far at school.
I wish I was exaggerating...but I'm not.
How can a single human man possibly exact revenge on one of the most powerful entities on the face of the earth? This defeat shall never be rectified or balanced out for there is no one alive with enough shutzpah to topple the Oprah Empire. I can get down on my knees and pray for a champion or a hero to emerge but the odds are slim that any hero will show up in my lifetime.

Satellite 3: Zach Anner? Wait...wut?

We must never forsake a snake for having no horns...for who is to say that he will not become a dragon?" - Leung Pang-Liu

Okay, hold the phone...what's going on here? The newest member of Oprah's legion of evil minions is this cat? How the heck did this happen?

Quite simply actually...Oprah held an internet contest to pick one person out of millions to be the host of their own show and be the next arm of the Oprah Regime. Anner took the whole world by storm with his charisma, charm, good natured self-humility, and humor. As news of his video hit all the internet venues (Reddit, Ebaums, Youtube, Twitter, Facebook) it was hard to find ANYONE who didn't love the guy. Naturally, his votes on the Oprah website skyrocketed and he nestled himself into the top spot and never looked back, until of course he lost 6,000,000 votes out of the blue. Needless to say, the internet was in a collective shock as their golden boy went from hero to zero with an instantaneous and enigmatic slight of hand.

A site called geekosystem first broke news with hard concrete proof that this was no accident by any means. A friendly and bright fellow named Travis Wright is credited with acquiring the information and breaking that shit down. The Oprah people never meant for the person with the highest votes to actually win anything, it was all a farce and the internet's hopes of having a Zach Anner Show were dashed almost as quickly as they were concieved. And that's sad...

As a person with a pre-existing vendetta on the Oprah, I must say I was outraged. Like stated previously, how can one man exact revenge for wrongdoings against an entity as powerful as her? It is impossible, but now you have a throng of like minded internet folk (Reddit, Ebaums, SomethingAwful, etc, etc.) outraged at the same time and somehow they managed to vent their outrage in a cohesive wave of hiveminded justice.
Oprah...how could you?

The move that really hit home is when the internet hit the Oprah where it hurts most...in her public image. Google keeps logs of hot search terms and puts a list up of what people are searching for most. What's really cool about this is that lazy news outlets (i.e. all of them) love to look at what topics are hot and do half-assed pieces on them. All of sudden the term "Oprah hates the handicapped" and "Oprah rigs votes against Zach Anner" became the top google search terms and dozens of media outlets (some very big ones too) started running stories on how Oprah may have personally removed Zach Anner from his top spot in the online poll. It is possible that upwards of fifty thousand people participated in getting those terms to number one.

Now due to Oprah's fear of widespread negative publicity, Anner was re-added to the list of people from the internet contest who would be invited to the auditions. For Oprah in effect to prove to the naysayers that she does not in fact hate handicapped people, she invited Anner on her show for a "heart warming" segment to make her look good and then added him to the her reality show competition where he'd compete against a group to win his own show. A few boring shows later where Anner only appears in about 4 minutes of cumulative footage, the great Anner wins the competition and is promised his own show by the Oprah people.

The question now is will Zach Anner sell out and suck up to Oprah or will his balls of steel (which we all know he has) burst forth outta his drawers like a gargantuan dinosaur in the night? I have a feeling this cat is more than he appears and I think the proof lies in the following video....

After he won he wished to talk to Oprah in person once again, and knowing it would be good public relations she does it. Anner plays coy through the whole thing answering her run-of-the-mill queries...but then at the 2:25 mark he aims from the hip and pulls a dramatic switcheroo...he turns the tables on the Oprah and starts asking the questions. It's not much but it gives a little hope that indeed a Trojan Horse has found it's way into the Oprah Regime.

And Remember...

"No Atlantis is too underwater or fictional..." -Zach Anner

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Google Adsense is stupid

I have almost made 1 dollar from the google. I'm gonna cash in and go down to the Dep (convenience store) and almost buy a Big Turk candy bar. You can't make much money legally with the Google Adsense is my conclusion. I was under the impression that it was by page views for some reason and then it would be pretty easy to make some money without doing any auxiliary procedures. You only get some cents when the ads are actually clicked on and no one in their right mind ever clicks on ads.

Who's getting the money?

It's really dumb this Google Adsense...if someone just sets up a botnet or even just gets a dozen old computers and writes a macro to have them refresh their proxies and click on the ads over and over again...you could probably make a lot of money. I would never do anything like that and I suggest to whomever's reading this that they do NOT under ANY circumstances try that.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Best Iron Sheik vids on Youtube

"A-a-a-and...besides that, everything was great." - Iron Sheik

I don't got a lot of heart or emotions or that shit and when I want to show emotion I usually use a pre-recorded mental template as a guide. My mental template for conveying anger to folks was an easy one to choose because there's only one guy on earth who makes being angry so freaking funny and enjoyable to watch and listen too. I'm talking about the Iron Sheik, who a few years ago resurfaced and took the internet by storm with his outlandish and near insane angry babbling.

5th best: Boston Promo

An oldie to set up that he was always pretty cool to begin with. Here he is just letting "the intelligent Boston people," the "Italian [his] Pizzans," the "Iranian people," and the "Intelligent Jew People" like the "Gene Mean" know his feelings about the Junk Yard Dog.

4th Best: Chewing out at the Ultimate Warrior

I take this one as proof that his disposition is not an act or a shtick of any kind, as we see when the Ultimate Warrior refuses to shake his hand and Sheik's beautifully loony anger boils over. He seems to know that the Ultimate Warrior is from Georgia and apparently this is important...I think.

3rd Best: Letting "Vul Mario" know that he is no fucking good

His anger and insanity really shines in this one as he curses out a person who dissed him, he builds and builds until the coup de grace at 2:53 which is somewhat offensive but pretty funny.

 2nd Best: On the "Derek and Romaine" radio show

To do damage control for the above video where he uses the word "fag" in a pejorative fashion, here he explains that he has nothing against gay folks...just the "dumb ones" like the Ultimate Warrior. At the 4:00 minute mark she confronts him directly about using "fag" as a pejorative insult and he clearly explains that he actually loves and respects "the gay people" for their intelligence.

1st Best of the Best: Interview with Dan Maloney

This is the one that kicked the Sheik back into his long anticipated and badly long overdue reemergence into popular culture and it has finally crossed the 1 million view mark on Youtube. In this one he is asked "an excellent excellent question" by Mr. Maloney and kindly answers it by expressing his distaste with former wrestler Brain Blair. The irony of him using "fag" as a pejorative but threatening to preform homo-sadistic acts on his enemies is kinda funny too.

I don't want to end on a sad note but the truth behind the Iron Sheik's mental instability and mind-lossage sadly has to do with the death of his eldest daughter who was murdered by her boyfriend (source). So when you watch these don't hate on the dude for being so loud and crazy because he really is quite a troubled fellow due to that tragedy.

(Extra Good Bonus Shit: Threatening to kick the shit out of Michael "Kramer" Richards, and of course, threatening to kick the crap outta the Great and Legendary Beetajuice.)

Sunday, April 3, 2011

On the Duality of Individuality and Harmony...as explored by the final episode of "The Prisoner"

On one side you want to be a good little worker bee and produce for your society and live in complete harmony with the human race...yet on the other side you want to live free and at ease and do whatever you feel like doing. Part of you wants to work hard and play your role yet the other part of you wants to yell, dance, go bunjee jumping and have fun. We live with this duality everyday and it is pretty interesting.

How shaky is this balance? Can we be too stingy and adhere to rules too much at times, and similarly can we be too selfish and just do what pleases our own selves at times? Both statements are true, and it's not hard to lose the precious balance at all.

One of the best shows ever made, that great show "The Prisoner" takes this into account in its final episode "Fallout." The Prisoner starred Patrick McGoohan as a former James Bond-esque spy who every morning wakes up on a beautiful prison colony island yet doesn't know how he got there or why. The island has no names, it only has numbers, and you are referred to by your number (The Prisoner was assigned the number 6 for instance). He spends his days attempting to escape the island and trying to figure out who's in charge of it. All he knows is the leader's name is Number 1 but no one has ever seen this person.

The Island frowns upon individuality and exists only for harmony. They preach that "Questions are a burden to others; answers a prison for oneself" and that a "a still tongue makes a happy life.” Do your assigned task and shutup is basically what the motto was there. Yet to the Prisoner this motto is a little too hard to swallow, as he refuses to adopt this lifestyle, letting it be known by stating "I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, or numbered! My life is my own."

48: Da Bones is YOURS!!
In the final (and best) episode the big wigs of the Island put 2 individuals on trial for the crime of being an individual and expressing their individuality and a third on trial for failing to do his tasks. The first prisoner on trial Number 48, lives life out loud as he sings and dances and talks back to the authority figure, he is meant according to McGoohan to represent youthful rebellion. A great line from this scene is while 48 is doing his flashy resistance they pan to Number 6 who says, "Don't knock yourself out...young...man." Rebelling and arguing with authority really does wear you down, and 6 is right, there's gotta be a better and more creative way to challenge the status quo.

Number 6 then takes a 180 and completely goes against what he preaches and picks up a machine gun and starts killing the guards while Beatles music plays in the background. This probably represents violent opposition to authority. Why this complete 180 reversal of opinion? Do we think one way one day and another the next?

The show ends with The Prisoner meeting number 1...and (sorry to spoil it) but after #1 takes off all his deceptive masks it's The Prisoner's own face looking back at him. I guess he's trying to say that we live in this delicate duality every day, with our thoughts and opinions taking 180s and going in circles at whim. This whole delicate balance of wanting to do your role for society yet at the same time wanting to be free and at ease... makes you your own worst enemy.

Fallout (entire episode): http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2714ls_the-prisoner-e17-fall-out_shortfilms

cool but unrelated songs about bein' a prisoner: 1. Death (1975), and also 2. D.O.A. (198X)

Saturday, April 2, 2011

For radio transmission 8

-Mr Expo-

They call Ernie Banks Mr. Cub, because he is the most recognizable iconographic face in that franchise. I'm not talking about the most talented player in history which is by far Vlad Guerrero but the guy who represents the Expos the best throughout their existence.In my opinion there's only two guys who can be considered as possibly being Mr Expo...and that's Warren Cromartie or Tim Raines. Guys who were infinitely proud to wear the uniform and always talk glowingly about the organization. Carter and unfortunately Dawson I don't think can be considered.

Warren Cromartie is Mr. Expo because of the flag waving event during the 1981 playoffs against the Phillies....which isolated Cro as the most iconic Expo in my opinion.

1981 NLCS

The Philadelphia fans were notoriously fanatic and crazy. These guys threw snow balls at Santa Claus one time, the city of brotherly love was regarded as being the most hateful city in sports for decades and decades. So Cro, after catching the final out off the bat of Manny Trillo and the Expos win the 81 NLCS over the hated Phillies the guy runs towards two fans who drove down from Montreal and takes the Canadian flag they're waving, and starts running around the field waving the Canadian flag and gesturing and taunting the Philidelphia fans...they responded by whipping batteries and other projectiles at him. That to me is the single most badass and iconoic image and event in Expos history. The culmination of victory and the Cro's Badassery is what makes it the pinnacle moment in their existence.

It really is the only glorious victory in Expos history...they won a playoff series. Expos history is a long series of defeat after defeat after defeat...from the expansion years to Blue Monday then the 94 strike year...and finally the Death in 2004. You really build character through hardships...and after seeing so much defeat, to watch the video of this game and see their only glorious victory in history is really impressive.

Heart of those late seventies early eighties Expos

If they awarded Captain "C" in baseball (the Red Sox did for Jason Varitek), Cro could have easily been Captain...though management would have surely given it to their golden guy Gary Carter. I think the Cro was captain of those Expos teams in that era.

Oh shit, it's Oh.
To illustrate the point, a great quote from his time in Japan I got here...it's from a dude named Saduharu Oh-San, the legendary Saduharu Oh-San...who hit over 800 homeruns in the Nippon league...he was asked after his Yomuri Giants won the championship who in the locker room was the team leader...and he responded, "KU-RO-Matei-san." Which is how they pronounce Cromartie in those parts.

There's a great video on youtube where Bill Lee is giving his opinion on what killed Expos and surprisingly he states one of the reasons was the owner's coddling of Gary Carter. Like they say in wrestling "a babyface sells seats," so they made Carter the babyface of the Expos and put his big smile on everything imaginable. Other guys resented that and Cro was the one who was the most vocal about it...one story has Carter pandering to the media and smiling and running up to the cameras after the game and the Cro goes..."at least wait til they ask you a question man!"

Japan (49)

In 1983 he journeyed east...

They're really superstitious there and into all kinds of pseudosciences...like making lineup changes over silly things like blood types or graphology. So when Cro got to Japan and chose to wear the number he wore with the Expos...they were shocked. The number 49 in Japan is like the number 13 here but times 100...the number 4 looks almost exactly like the Hirigana symbol for DEATH, and 9 has a striking similarity to the symbol for Suffering. So here's the Cro strolling into superstition central with DEATH and SUFFERING written on his back.

originally written for the Throwdown Radio show on Mike FM